Today, Herb and I tried to create a new recipe and we rendered our taste buds useless for this endeavor. All the discomfort I felt from this process was alleviated because I knew Herb was going through the exact same thing.

That was insane, what I just went through. Thanks for hanging in there.

Today, I'm due to play some basketball. As a professional basketball player/fireman/restaurant owner, I am living out at least three childhood dreams. I only wish I was allowed to play during basketball games more often, put out more fires, and not have to put up with my "good friend" Herb. Also, I wish Yolanda would give me the time of day. I am not getting any younger, after all, and would like to see the look of shock and horror on Herb's face when he sees my progeny dwarf him, even fresh out of the womb.

My children will come into this world with all the skills and talents my wife and I possess, I believe. That is how it normally works, correct? The only babies I have dealt with to a great degree are those of Herb, and they inherited his uselessness.