The pastor's assistant came by the shop today, baffled. He remarked that he had gone to Herb's home, probably to conduct an exorcism, and his wife made the claim that Herb was offering up sacrifices to some sort of pagan god. I reminded the pastor's assistant that Herb is most likely a Satanist, and that Herb's wife's comment was ridiculous.
Apparently, Herb's wife actually meant he was barbecuing, but doing a poor job at it. So now the pastor's assistant knows that Herb worships the dark lord Satan. Boy, is my face red!